Siren Bound

ModiFUCation is what I almost wrote in the heading, because I feel like I want to fuck the world in the worst way and need to be fucked in the best way. How can you get one to understand your struggle when they don’t have the same one? I am hurt and angered by the ones whose opinions I value most, but not even they can get me to conform.

I am wondering why I am whining and baring all on the Internet. I know most would say it is for attention, and you would be right. It does not make what I am writing less valid. I need to get all this vitriol out and state that how I am feeling is ok. I need a record…if I died tonight, I need it someone to know. This is the only “anonymous” social network that I have. So I write about my anger and frustration and about the aching of my sex…but most of all the aching of my need to love and be loved here. I am not afraid of trolls here (though they will come); it is safe; and I need to be recognized.

jessiebear asked: DONT GIVE UPP!! I just saw your post, I don't even follow you. But but but, bah don't give up. I'm shy and a lot like you and please don't give up :(

Thank you. I am in a foul, funky mood these days. I would advise you not to follow because I am hurt and bitter. You are very sweet for offering support. I do appreciate it.

This was supposed to chronicle me finally getting a Dom or some stupid shit like that. Instead, on my hiatus from here, I have just grown disillusioned and bitter. No Dom for me. I give up. My new hope is simply to be bred. Sure, I want to feel the subjugation that any submissive would want to a Dom, but fate keeps fucking that up. I am a little bitter and pissed at the moment. 

The plan change here is me chronicling have pissed off I am. Trials and Tribulation of an Angry Submissive.

I am very sad and mad right now. I met a Dom online in August. He lives in Louisiana and I live in Chicago. He pursued me. I was in a long distance relationship before and did not want to get involved in another one. He had every answer for all the concerns I had. In October—two months later—I gave in. I planned a trip to meet him in November. A week before I was to arrive, he stopped calling and texting and answering calls and texts. I canceled the ticket. He calls a day before like nothing happened. Upon learning that I canceled the ticket, he became upset with me. We rescheduled for December, a week before he said I could come but he won’t be able to see much of me because of work. He said of the three days I was there, I would see him one and not all that day. So I rescheduled for today. He e-mails that he had a family emergency in New York but we will reschedule. WTF! 

In the meantime, while being jerked around, I need a firm and committed Dom, a good spanking, a good fucking, and someone to serve!

Why is that so hard to find.

easilyspread asked: Why thank you for the follow miss ;) make sure to keep in touch.

Your blog is great. I definitely will. I am learning this Tumblr thing as I go along.

5feet12inches:

So, I have this Tumbr account, a blog, a Google + account and Twitter. They are all dedicated to me and my journey as a submissive. I want Tumblr to be more of a photo journey. Sad thing is that, thus far, I have limited photos and less where my face is shielded (unfortunately, my lifestyle can be a problem for my career). I guess I have to think creatively on how to add visuals of my desires.

Good start to your blog! And good luck meeting your dom.

Just thought I’d point out that the first sentence in your About Me section doesn’t quite work - “As of Feb 8, 1975, I will be 37”. Unless you’re saying you’re about to turn 74! ;)